VIP THAI HEALTH MASSAGE

The hours tell you most of what you need to know. Doors open at 5pm and stay open until 5am, every day of the week, which makes this a place for people whose bodies give out at midnight rather than mid-afternoon. If you've spent the day on a boat or a motorbike and you're stiff by the time the bars fill up, this is when it's useful.

What's on the table is traditional Thai massage: the stretching, the pressure point work, the slow pull along the energy lines. It's done fully clothed, so wear something loose. First-timers get looked after the same as people who know exactly which knot they want dealt with. The tone here is recovery rather than pampering, which I think is the right way round.

There's no phone number listed, so the Instagram page is your route in if you want to ask about availability or what things cost.